The Parentified Child
I recently read a brilliant piece about The Parentified Child. Many of us probably are, but we don’t know there’s a term for the situation.
It’s when kids assume adult roles. The cause could range from a life event (losing a parent, parents divorcing..) to being your parent’s confidant to siblings’ caretaker, mediator, protector, et al. Bottom line: you’re not allowed to evolve as other “luckier” kids.
The consequences in adulthood are huge. That friend/colleague/lover that always puts other people’s needs before their own is probably a Parentified Child. They are always there when called upon. Looking out for others’ needs is natural to them.
Unfortunately, the Parentified Child behavior negatively affects our personal relationships. The Parentified Child is always trying to “fix people.” And it often ends in tears.
I have come to the humble realization that we cannot save everyone. Do not put your life on hold thinking folks (lovers, parents, siblings, friends, et al) cannot survive without YOUR help. Let people drown if they have to. Stop showing up for folks that don’t want to put in the work. Just stop.
Passe une bonne semaine.
ft
